Mastering Wedding Planning: 10 Top Tips for Maintaining Control and Harmony!

Blog, Weddings

Mastering wedding planning isn’t always easy!

So, you’re knee-deep in the throes of wedding planning, and guess what? Everyone suddenly seems to have an honorary degree in ‘Wedding Planning’, right? And they’re not shy to give you advice. Your yoga teacher is convinced you need doves. Your cousin twice removed thinks a 10-tier cake is the only way to go. And don’t even get me started on your favourite aunt’s thoughts on dress styles!

To keep things going as smoothly as possible, it’s a bit like being a goalkeeper, ensuring that while some suggestions might make it through, you’ve got the final say. And here’s the kicker: you want to do it without becoming Bridezilla.

Let’s dive into how you can be the best goalie in this game of wedding planning!

10 Top Tips!

  1. Smile and Nod (Then Do Your Own Thing): The age-old tactic that’s saved many brides. When you’re bombarded with unsolicited advice, smile, say, “That’s a lovely and creative idea! Thank you”, and then… politely and quietly go with what you had planned.
  2. The Gentle Deflection: Got a particularly persistent relative? Try the “I’ve always dreamt of…” line. “Oh, Aunt Mabel, I’ve always dreamt of a simple three-tier iced fruitcake, ever since I was a girl.” It’s hard for them to argue with your dreams!
  3. Seek an Ally: There’s strength in numbers. Your partner, maid of honour, or your wedding celebrant can step in to back you up. Sometimes having a second voice echo your sentiments can make all the difference.
  4. The ‘Divide and Conquer’ Strategy: Know someone’s particular strength or taste? Assign them a task that plays to that. So, if your best friend has a great eye for detail, maybe she can help with the table settings, or be your Personal Assistant, checking off things on the enormous wedding ‘To Do’ list? Your partner’s brother is a whiz at playlists and sound, ask him to help out. By giving them a role, you’re keeping them busy and feeling valued.
  5. The Blame Game (But Make It Kind): Sometimes, it’s easier to blame an external force. “The venue has restrictions on releasing doves, but thanks for the lovely idea!” Or, “The dress shop didn’t have that style in my size, but I’ve found another one that I love!”
  6. Use ‘We’ Instead of ‘I’: Making decisions seem like a joint choice between you and your partner can often reduce criticism. “We’ve decided to go with a beach theme.” It subtly reinforces the idea that the decision is final, without coming off as confrontational.
  7. The Gratitude Approach: Acknowledge people’s input with gratitude. “Thank you so much for taking the time to give us these ideas. It’s great to have them to add to the pot!” This way, you’re not committing to anything, but you’re also not dismissing them.
  8. The Honest Heart-to-Heart: For those closest to you, sometimes an honest chat works best. Let them know that while you appreciate their input, you have a particular vision for your big day. Most times, they just want to be involved and will understand if you approach the topic with love.
  9. Consider a Suggestions Box: Set up a decorative ‘Wedding Suggestions Box’ at family gatherings. It becomes a fun activity, gives everyone a chance to feel heard, and – who knows? – you might find a gem of an idea in there! Plus, it keeps all the advice in one place, rather than having it thrown at you from all directions.
  10. Remember the Goal: When things get too much, take a moment. Breathe. Remember that the aim is to celebrate your love. Most of the advice, solicited and unsolicited comes from people who really care about you and want you to have a fabulous wedding. Holding onto the bigger picture can make navigating these waters much easier.
Catherine is wearing a beautiful blue dress and clutching her blue minister's manual in front of her. She is sitting on a white windowsill as she is preparing for a wedding, the window is overlooking the Lake District.

Catherine Sophia Kentridge

To wrap it up, while you’re playing goalie in this wedding-planning match, remember that it’s all coming from a place of love. With a blend of diplomacy, gratitude, and a sprinkling of tact, you’ll not only have the wedding you’ve always dreamt of but also keep the peace with those you cherish.

Here’s to striking that perfect balance and to your magical day ahead!

By Catherine Kentridge, Interfaith Minister and Wedding Celebrant

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