Vow Writing Tips
In any wedding, the exchange of vows is the heart of the ceremony. It’s when you make the promises to each other that you will uphold and live by for the rest of your lives.
Many couples like to use the time-honoured, repeat-after-me, “For richer or for poorer” vows. There is a great deal to be said for this. These vows have been hallowed and used by millions of couples over the centuries and have that weight of history and tradition behind them. They have been used in countless novels, movies, and plays. These traditional marriage vows are what you expect to hear at most weddings.
Personalized wedding vows
However, many couples wish to personalize their ceremony by writing their own special vows. Sometimes they will combine the traditional vows, repeating them after the celebrant, and then read to each other their personal vows. While some couples may find it daunting to even think about writing their own vows, fearing they will not know where to begin and what happens if they forget them on the day because they are so nervous or excited, other couples love the idea of writing down and expressing their deepest feelings about each other on their wedding day.
If you are considering writing your own vows, you might start by sitting down and thinking about what it is you most love about each other, and why you are marrying this man or this woman. Perhaps you will say to yourself, ”I love him because he can always see the bright side of any situation.” You turn that into a vow by saying, “I promise to learn from you your wonderful quality of always seeing the bright side of any situation.”
Mixing wedding vows and laughter
Many couples mix humour and in-jokes with their more deeply-felt vows. One groom promised his bride “to always clean up after you cook, as we both deserve to eat well, and neither of us wants to eat my cooking”. Of course, most couples include “I love you” in those vows. Many couples who write special vows like to keep them secret from each other as a surprise for the wedding day. To keep the secret of the wedding vows, at the rehearsal I will hand you each a cue card with your words that you read silently to each other, to give you a sense of the timing. Of course, on your wedding day, you read them aloud to each other!
All I can say is, both of you should be prepared with linen handkerchiefs, or lots of Kleenex. The vows are the emotional heart of the ceremony, and brides and grooms have often found themselves overcome with the deep feelings the vows bring out.