The exchange of vows is the heart of the ceremony. It’s when you make the promises to each other that you will live by for the rest of your lives.
You can use the time-honoured, repeat-after-me, “For richer or for poorer” vows. There is a great deal to be said for this. These vows have been used by millions of couples over the centuries and have the weight and power of history and tradition behind them. They have been used in countless novels, movies, and plays. These traditional marriage vows are what you expect to hear at most weddings.
Personalized wedding vows
However, you may wish to personalize your ceremony by writing your own special vows. You could combine the traditional vows, repeating them after the celebrant, and then read your personal vows to each other. It’s your perfect opportunity to write down and express your deepest feelings about each other on your wedding day.
A great way to start is to sit down and think about what it is you most love about each other, and why you are marrying this man or this woman. And then you could think what are the promises you want to make for your life together? Perhaps you’ll say to yourself, ”I love him because he can always see the bright side of any situation.” You turn that into a vow by saying, “I promise to learn from you your wonderful quality of always seeing the bright side of any situation.”
Mixing wedding vows and laughter
You can mix humour and in-jokes with more deeply-felt vows. One groom promised his bride “to always clean up after you cook, as we both deserve to eat well, and neither of us wants to eat my cooking.” Of course, most couples include “I love you” in those vows. You can keep your special vows secret from each other as a surprise for the wedding day. To keep the secret of the wedding vows, at the rehearsal I’ll hand you each a cue card with your words that you read silently to each other, to give you a sense of the timing. Of course, on your wedding day, you read them aloud to each other!
And tears
All I can say is, both of you should be prepared with linen handkerchiefs, or lots of Kleenex. The vows are the emotional heart of the ceremony, and brides and grooms have often found themselves overcome with the deep feelings the vows bring out.
Catherine Kentridge
