You’ve just got engaged, and now you’re very excited to be planning your dream wedding to the partner of your dreams. The choices are overwhelming, in all directions. Everyone you know wants a say in shaping that dream. What to do? Between family input, friends’ input, the gazillion Pinterest boards, and the ever-ticking clock, things can get a tad overwhelming.
Fear not, Here are some creative and effective ways to ensure you have the wedding YOU truly want (and, of course, all the backup you could possibly need).
1. The Golden Rule – It’s YOUR Wedding Day!
Ask yourselves, what matters most about the wedding? Once you’ve answered that question, everything else will start to fall into place. There is no right or wrong answer. Go with what feels perfect for you. Have you own general idea of what you want the wedding to be. Make sure there’s lots of flexibility within the framework, for good ideas to find their place and for not so good ideas to find a way out!
I’m putting this first because, trust me, it’s easy to forget.
2. Go with what’s right for you
Amidst the chorus of advice and suggestions, remember to prioritise what feels right for you and your partner. This is your wedding, your ceremony, not a community theatre project. Don’t let other people’s views about what’s right and best affect your choices and decisions. Remain true to yourselves. You want your wedding to feel and be different from any other wedding you’ve ever been to. Listen to your heart and do what you really want to do, without any compromises for other people. Include only rituals and traditions that have meaning for you
Don’t worry about the traditions and rituals that everybody usually does, if they don’t mean anything to you as a couple.
3. Listen to input from family and friends, then make up your own mind
Once you have a clear idea of what you want, it’s easy when family and friends offer to help. Accept their offers gladly, because then all the help you receive will be contributing to your vision of what you want for your dream wedding. There’s a big difference between being open to ideas and letting other people tell you what kind of wedding to have! Lovingly set boundaries: When well-meaning family and friends come at you with a barrage of suggestions, it’s okay to say, “Thanks so much for your idea! We’re still thinking things through and working out what’s really us.”
Boom! Gracious and firm.
4. Give active roles to family where you can
You could: involve the mothers in helping light the candles for the Unity Candle ritual, if that’s what you’ll be having in the ceremony. Have a grandparent do a reading or say a blessing. Have your children say a poem or be the flowergirls or ring-bearers. Choose sisters or brothers as wedding attendants or ushers. That way, everyone involved will have the same goal of making the wedding day and the ceremony special for everyone, especially for you
5. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate
You’ve got bridesmaids, groomsmen, family members, and friends all willing and wanting to lend a hand. So, let them! Play to their strengths – organizational skills, – keeping track of the responses to invitations, knowledge of what flowers are in season and last longest, crafting table decorations, or wedding favours, assembling your favourite photos of the two of you to display at the venue or reception. Maybe your cousin is a whiz at graphic design or your best friend can paint murals for your theme. Sharing tasks not only lightens your load but makes people feel involved and valued.
6. Budget-Savvy Is The Way To Go
Let’s be real; everyone has a budget. The key is to decide what aspects are most crucial to you. Is it the venue? The dress? The food? The ceremony? Once you’ve got your priorities straight, you can allocate funds accordingly. And hey, don’t shy away from asking for discounts – you’d be surprised how often vendors are willing to negotiate!
7. Seek Professional Help (No, Not That Kind!)
Curate Your Dream Team: Enter: wedding planners and celebrants. These magical beings have seen it all. They’ll navigate you through the maze of options, ensuring your day reflects YOU. A good wedding celebrant especially will take the time to know your story, guiding you in creating a ceremony that’s genuinely personal. Your celebrant’s goal is to turn your ceremony from a dream into a reality. A great celebrant will listen to your ideas and may offer creative suggestions of how to make them happen. They’ll also contribute their own ideas, which may not have occurred to you.
A Wedding Planner can take care of catering, entertainment, processions, size of wedding party, flowers and invitations and photographer. You can also arrange for them to take responsibility for paying all the vendors involved in your wedding, from venue to florist to celebrant.
From celebrant to planner to photographers and florists, pick people who align with your vision. Meet with them, discuss your ideas, and ensure they get your vibe. After all, they’re the artisans and experts who’ll shape the atmosphere of your wedding.
8. Harness the Power of Tech
Hello, 21st century! From wedding websites to apps that track your to-do list and budget, there’s a plethora of digital tools designed to make your life easier. Plus, having a digital RSVP system can be a game-changer. No more chasing after Uncle Bob to see if he’s bringing a plus one. Or trying to remember if Cheryl is vegan or just vegetarian.
9. Embrace Flexibility
While it’s essential to know what you want, being a little flexible can go a long way. Maybe the peony bouquet you wanted isn’t available, but the florist has a stunning alternative. Sometimes, the most unexpected changes can lead to the most beautiful results. The more gracious your attitude to any help that’s offered, the higher the chance of having your dream wedding day.
10. Don’t forget to Breathe (and Enjoy!)
Planning a wedding can be all-consuming. Take breaks, go on date nights, and remember the reason behind all this hullabaloo – celebrating your love.
Catherine Sophia Kentridge
So there it is, your roadmap to having the wedding that proclaims ‘YOU’, with all the support and advice you need. Happy planning, and here’s to your dream day becoming a wonderful reality!
By Catherine Kentridge, Interfaith Minister and Wedding Celebrant
